"Suicide Is Painless" is a song written by Johnny Mandel (music) and Mike Altman (lyrics), which is mostly known for being featured in both the movie and TV series M*A*S*H(without lyrics). The lyrics were written by 14-year-old Altman for his father's film M*A*S*H. On an appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in the 1980s, Robert Altman said that Mike Altman earned more than a million dollars for cowriting the song while he only made $70,000 for directing the movie.

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